| Update of my life back in Texas
People have been asking what I am going to do now that I am back in
America. Well I have answer. It is an old quote. It says, “Part of
knowing who you are in knowing who you are not” and I am not meant to
stay in America. This is for a season, but a short season only. At the
moment I am trying to find work, and will be moving around 8 hours away
from where I now live to a college town appropriately called College
Station, Texas. I will be doing most of my recovery and discovery
there. But God has shown me a lot these latest few months since the
accident. And nothing on this earth will stop me from doing what I am
supposed to be doing. In updating you on my life I am going to use one
part of a letter I wrote to a friend that really expresses my heart.
I am just being continually amazed by the things that God has done and
what He is still doing. The common thread that you find in people that
God has worked powerfully through is that they would spend a lot of
time in prayer, sometime entire days! I really want to affect my world
like John G. Lake, St. Francis of Assisi, John Alexander Dowie, David
Hogan, Heidi Baker, St Francis Xavier, Tommy Hicks, A.A. Allen, Oral
Roberts, Sadhu Sundar Singh, Lonnie Frisbee, and St. Denis, St. Nectan,
St. Antony the abbot, or Mahesh Chavda. These people have all shared
their spotlight in controversy. But they have also reached into the
depths of God presence that I can only dream of. Besides anyone who
knows me, knows that I don’t mind a little controversy or the
occasional rattling of religious cages if I can deepen peoples
understanding of their big God, or my own for that matter. You have to
be willing to take a chance and step out in faith. Sometimes I think
that people are so scared of doing something wrong or that something
new is might lead to demon possession. They forget to wonder into the
vast unknown presence of God, and if you get yanked off your feet by
God’s presence and sent to heaven, then so be it. Open yourself up to
God daily and see where He leads you. He will NOT lead you astray. He
might lead you way out of your comfort zone but He will not lead you
astray. When this happens some will think you are crazy. Some may think
when you heal someone, or see visions of the third heaven that you have
been demon possessed. Jesus was accused of the same thing. What an
honor!!!! Some people say that talking in tongues is crazy; I say that
is just the beginning of a trail that will lead out of the natural and
into the supernatural. Don’t just stand there and talk about speaking
in tongues. Try it. The Holy Spirit will tell you if you are doing
something wrong. I think that God sometimes wants you take a chance
just to try and get closer to Him. You do have to stay balanced, but
when you understand just what God has given you. You can take on the
world declaring, that He is Lord.
I want to walk into areas that no other person will go and stand in a
square and proclaim “THIS IS MY GOD!!!!!!! HE IS THE GOD OF HEAVEN AND
EARTH!!!!!! AND HE LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
And when people come I want to be able to heal them, I want to see the
blind see, the deaf hear, the lame get up and walk, I want to grab up a
lifeless body of a person that has been dead for 5 days and feel the
breath of life come back into their body, and then turn to the crowds
that have gathered to see God’s wonders, and shout “THIS IS MY GOD!!!!
AND HE LOVES YOU!!!” and watch the people fall to their knees with
tears rolling down their face confessing with their mouth and believing
in their heart that JESUS IS LORD!!!!
God has put it in my heart to go to Muslim communities and do this. I
know it sounds crazy, but I have wonderful and miracle working God, and
those Islamic/Muslim communities have so long been almost shunned by
the church. But they are his children to. God gave me a vision one day
while I was in worship of an Islamic man tears rolling down his checks
and into beard as He encountered a God for the first time that is real,
that talks back to him and into his heart showing him love, and mercy
that is beyond comprehension. This is what I want to do. I am not sure
that everything that God has put on my heart will be with Hillsong at
all, which is the reason that I am going to travel to South Africa and
see what God wants me to do. I don’t know anything anymore. Every time
that I make a plan God changes it. It is the funniest thing (to God not
to me) lol.
People will call me crazy. But I am not sure I care because I want to
tell every living creature on this earth that Jesus is GOD and he came
to save us. Evan as I type this my heart is beating like a war drum
inside my chest. Saying HE IS LORD, TELL THE WORLD THAT HE IS LORD. My
heart bursts, and weeps, with the burden and passion for this cause
that God has set into my heart. God says to me “John, are you willing
to pay the price? Are you willing to lose everything for me?” and even
as I whisper, “Yes”, God shows me what it means to lose everything. I
start trembling. But not trembling in fear of what will happen to me or
what I will have to go through, but trembling at the thought of
becoming so close to God, because that is the price, becoming so close
to Him that I see Him, and there is nothing left between me and a Holy
God. Everything is stripped away. There is nothing left. It is easy to
die for God in the physical. It is not so easy to live on your face
before Him day after day. That is the price of seeing the people of God
come to God. I am not saying that I won’t die for Him. In some ways I
would consider it such an honor to lay down my life for my God. Not for
my country or some heroic memoir written after I die but just so I
could come before God saying I have given it everything that I have,
there is nothing left for me to give. I could write pages about this.
But I will not. LOL
I know that all of this is will fly in the face of a lot of people.
Some will think that the Australia and Hillsong twisted me. Or that the
accident and all the time alone in a room has caused damage to my
brain, and “He was never quite right after that.” Rest assured that
although Hillsong and Australia definitely left their mark on my life.
They did not make me seduce me to the dark side of the force so to
speak. If anything I was able to slow down and work on my relationship
with God, so that I am now ready to make the sacrifices necessary to do
what God has entrusted me to do.
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